Fun And Games

Sometimes people….

No that's not right, ….At all times people….,

And I’m not being funny but I know its not their fault, but this is how it is.

Mine is mine and I know, as its truly mine, to be fair, I will treat it like I want to.

But I can't accept others treating it the same.

And I’m sort of sorry because no matter what I think, and no matter how I treat it, others should treat it like its brand new, like it’s a china shop minus the bull, and like they have just wandered into Shangri-La. That’s just how I feel, so therefore that's like it is.

Indeed.

La La La La

I am talking a load of shit tonight, because, to be fair, who else will if not I?

There is a lot that needs to be said, and I can't say it all myself, but I can at least start it off, I hope.

Everyone who is self aware, must, by now, realise that this world is going to shit.

And it doesn't matter what your religious (or Otherwise) beliefs are, people must realise that something must be done.

So come on. I'm not being funny, but seriously get your arse in gear.

x

So This Is Christmas. And what have you done?

This is the first two lines from a cracking Christmas song by John Lennon a little while before he got shot by a nutter.

And to be fair, who really gives a shit these days?

Everyone is so emotionally non-committal that to be honest, if it happened now, I fear that everyone would pretty much just pretend they hadn't noticed.

And I can already hear you all pretesting that you, personally, would be really shocked, but I'm sorry, I just don't really believe you.

Anyway, the point here is to state that we are all so desensitised to what happens in the world, and that my fear is that eventually we really wont give a shit about anything at all.

I really don't wont to be proved right. But I'm not sure I wont be.

Today.

I am sitting at my composter, and I'm looking at everyone in my house.

And they are great. Because whether I really know them, or actually care about them at all, it doesn't matter, cos these people are the people who end up at my house every time I have people back. And I've gotta see them as the people who are my people.

And that, at one instant fills me with dread, but at the same instant fills me with hope.

So Fuck everything, and everyone.

I am here and I KNOW that is true.

Lates.

x

This is what you think it will be.

So there you go.

Chrsitmas came and it went.

And that's how I like it, to be fair.

In a bit I will give you the first half of my Christmas Compact Disk

Its pretty cool if I do say so myself.

Its full of songs that have shaped my year.

But I have to say, there is one song that isn't on it that I've listen to alot.

That song is something I'll talk about sometime soon.

Love who I love.

Lates.

xx

Four your Sake OR Killing In The Name Of!

You know, I've got to a point in my life where it takes me more than 24 hours to recover from an alcohol fuelled evening.

If I get totally plastered one night, I'm still hammered the next day. I can not function with any real sense of normality.

This is a serious problem really. I now, not only can't remember what happened the night before, I also can't actually operate the next day.

Shit.

Anyway. As we draw nearer to Christmas and the end of the year I tend to get more both intro and retro spective. I tend to evaluate the past year, and to be fair, I'm never very impressed with what I see.

I always see a wasted year. Options that I should have taken and decisions I should have made.

It always puts me in a negative frame of mind. So that everything I think about during this time tends to have a negative slant on it.

This is a real pain in the arse, cos seriously, who needs that kind of extra negativity in their life.

But that is how it is.

Frenk it.

Anyway. Spurs won on Saturday, Forest and Newcastle won today, so its all good.

Also I hate the Arse-nil.

Live for today. Learn from mistakes you have made in the past, and use this knowledge to live your life like you should.

Four what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has nought
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way

That's there and that is how it goes.

So there you go.

Lates.

Matt.



P.S: Killing In The Name Of is Christmas Number One!

That is fucking AWESOME!

Ha Ha.

Free, Three, And there it is.

Well there you go.

And now today I'm here and I'm finished.

So there you go.

Three.

Lates.

Matt.

Two? To? Too? True?

Well. T'was a snow day today. Not quite as good as previous years in the fact that I did not get paid for this one but hey nevermind eh?

Went sledging although unfortunately we couldn't find the Nova bonnet from last year, but to be fair it was still cool.

There is something about a hill covered in snow that transports me back to my childhood.

And it was a weird feeling. For two hours today I completely forget about all the self inflicted worries and problems that comprise my life just now.

I was free to do nothing but have pure unadulterated fun and I revelled in it.

Unfortunately as soon as I got home reality bit again.

TRUST.

Its never been something I've ever really worried about.

I trust so few people that I've rarely been let down. I've known many people who have found it hard to trust anyone because they have been betrayed by people they thought they could trust, and to be fair I've been that betrayer more than once.

But trust is so important in life. If you feel like you can't trust anyone then you have my compassion, because not being able to trust anyone must be nightmare.

I have a small group of people that I trust with my life, and I rely on them more than they could probably ever know. Without them I would just completely self distruct.

I say all this because I maybe take trust for granted. And I really shouldn't.

I listened to this earlier, and maybe its apt and maybe its not. Either way I like it:

This is how it works

You're young until you're not

You love until you don't

You try until you can't

You laugh until you cry

You cry until you laugh

And everyone must breathe

Until their dying breath

No, this is how it works

You peer inside yourself

You take the things you like

And try to love the things you took

And then you take that love you made

And stick it into some

Someone else's heart

Pumping someone else's blood

And walking arm in arm

You hope it don't get harmed

But even if it does

You'll just do it all again

On The Radio - Regina Spektor

This is the second of my 12 Blogs of Christmas.

And this is me leaving to grab another beer, because I feel like getting drunk tonight.

Catch you on the other side.

Matt.

Its About Time

I figured I should start blogging again.

So this is the first of my 12 blogs of Christmas.

Obviously I don't want to go crazy on the first one.

If I totally nailed it the first day, what would I follow it with?

So this is a pretty low key post, just to ease you back into Matt's Blogasticalationismness.

I've spawned a new word that will be used for countless generations. What more do you want for a beginning?

Now I'm thinking I've gone too far. But Fuck it, I have always been accused of pushing the boundaries of collective consciousness to a new level and I can't stop now can I?

Or possibly I'm full of shit. I'm never sure which is the case.

Time will tell I guess.

I will see you shortly.

Or… Shortly, I will see you.

Or… Will I see you shortly?

Or… Shortly, you, I will see.

Or… Jäger Bombs? At the club? On a School night?

Lates.

Matt.