Mortality.

Well it has been a strange weekend.

I went to Manchester on Friday and had a good time there.

Then at about half seven on Sunday evening, I found out that a guy who I went to School with had died.

He didn't even do anything stupid like drink drive or overdose on whatever. He just died of, from what I understand, was natural causes. He was a really nice bloke and he will be hugely missed.

His death got me thinking, unsurprisingly, about my own mortality, and the fact that I am apparently no longer immortal. This is not a good thing as I have lived the last twenty plus years assuming that I was actually going to live forever.

Things like this tend to put your life into perspective. It makes you think, about how you interact with people, about those times when you've been regrettably harsh to someone, and about those times when you wanted to say something to someone, but didn't.
Now living your life as if anyone and everyone is about to die any minute is not a productive way to exist, but I think there is definitely something to be said for treating everyday people like you may never see them again.

I am nearly thirty years old. But I will get there and I will get slowly older everyday, but my friend wont. He will stay 29 for many years until the last person who knew him leaves this world. There are a lot of people missing him right now.

Lates.

Man Chest eh?

Well my car didn't get torched whilst I was there so that's a bonus.

It was a good weekend and fun was had by all.

I may well add some pictures to this post at some point.

But not today.

Lates.

The Last Time.

I'm hoping for a better time in Manchester this time.

Fingers Crossed.

Reality Television.

So I watched England’s pitiful display tonight. I didn't turn the game on till fifteen minutes gone, by which time it was already 2-0 to Croatia. I decided I was gonna stay in and watch the game at home rather than going to the club. I then promptly fell asleep and didn't properly wake up till half time.

After the break I started to get into the game, slowly moving towards the edge of my seat and by the time we got the (not a) penalty I was standing right in front of the tele. As soon as the penalty went in I ran to the club (apparently my month and a half non-smoking has had an affect) and watched the rest of the game there.

Bollocks is all I can say. England always do this to me. They worry the shit out of me, then they convince me they’ve got it in the bag and I relax and think all is going to be ok. then they just freck with my head and it all goes to shitezen.

So bollocks to all that.

Anyway the reason for this post is that after the game I was in the club and on the tele was the most recent shockingly bad reality television programme, hosted by Tit and Dick or some such.

This got me thinking about reality TV in general and this is when I had my revelation, or epiphany if you'd prefer. it goes like this.

'I'm a Z-list celebrity, please don't slaughter me'

The Concept: A group of has been / wanna-be celebrities and dropped off in the jungle and have to interact with each other for a week. At the end of the week the viewing public decide which of the group will be entered into the 'running man' style game, where the chance of survival is about ten percent.

If they die, they are shredded and are sprayed over the remaining 'contestants' However, if they survive they are moved onto the promised land or the 'Island' as it is sometimes called. This however is main 'DRAW' for the audience. Because if they survive the game they are drugged, or 'put to sleep' and then sliced up by our expert but eternally angry chief, then feed back to the remaining contestants as they next few meals.

To be fair the subsequent seasons of the show will have to be named 'I'm a z-list celebrity please don't slaughter me then feed me to my new friends' but I think it'll be a huge hit.

Lates

The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down

Way back when, myself, Si and Matt went to Newcastle to celebrate Matt's 21st.

This is a rather nice picture of us in a car on our way there. Unfortunately the car was travelling at 100mph and the photographer was in fact a speed camera.

This was quite irritating as you can imagine.

5 points and a £220 fine later, I thought I'd post the picture for all to see.

P.S. Bonus points to anyone who can reference the title of this post.

My Finger

Nice ain't it?

Managed to dislocate it Saturday before last playing football. Fortunately the hospital was a one minute drive from the pitch so that was handy. Took them over an hour to pop it back into place, which was somewhat irritating to say the least.

Have now had two weeks off work but am getting pretty bored so will be returning on Monday. Am dying to play football but I think I'll give it another couple of weeks before I try that.

Means I'll just have to get pished tonight instead I suppose.

Lates.

There Is No Title Fit For A Post Such As This

It has been over five months since my last addition to this insightful and some might say ground breaking account of the life and times of I, your humble (some say amazingly so)author.

I have been led back to here from where I was by a number of factors which I will not mention just now, but that are sure to feature in upcoming posts I would imagine.

Now, I would think you are now expecting a brief paragraph or four on what I have done and achieved over the last five months, but that just is not possible. For I have been busy, far too busy for just a few lines of inspired prose. So instead I thought I would give you a brief list of the things I haven't done in the last five months, which of course will be much easier for me to write and for you to read.

In the last five months I have not.....

1. Escaped gravity. I am still its prisoner.

2. Walked 500 miles and then walked 500 more. Couldn't see the point.

3. Managed to ban all reality TV. Come the revolution....

That's about it. Everything else you can just assume I've done. It makes your lives easier and I know that's important to you.

I shall leave you now and I shall return at some point that I can confidently say will be this century.

Lates.

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