Sometimes

Sometimes life works out how you expected it to. Sometimes it doesn't.

Neither of these is better all the time, cause sometimes you expect the worst and something excellent happens. And of course sometimes you expect everything will be cool and it ends in shit.

Within me there has always been a battle between the optimistic and pessimistic sides of my (for lack of a better word) soul. Sometimes, such as during my time as a student, the optimistic side was on top, at others, such as (unsurprisingly), immediately after I left university, my pessimistic side has been in ascendency.

But I don't tend to swing so noticeably from one to the other, I usually have 'O' days and 'P' days every now and again and spend the rest of the time in a state I've just decided as pessimistically optimistic.

Now, for various reason, some completely out of my control, others very much a result of my actions, I find myself pretty firmly in the realm of the pessimist.

Its not always a bad place to be. You often find yourself shielded from disappointments, because you are already expecting them when they arrive. But its not a great way to live your life.

It has to be said that this is an amazing world. It is as much full of wonders, excitements and beauty as it is full of despair, pain and the rest, perhaps more so. But living as a pessimist often means you don't see these things, or you ignore them when they come your way, choosing instead to look at the negatives rather than the positives.

I have a light at the end of my tunnel. I can see my life after pessimism. I'll get through it and move on, of that I have no doubt. So maybe the pessimistic side hasn't completely taken control!

And I wish the same for everyone else who is feeling they are on the 'P' side.

Strangely this post started off going in a completely different direction. Funny how your sub-conscious takes over every now and again when you aren’t paying attention!

Lates.