Jumping Or Falling?

That's the question I'm debating.

Having left teaching after four and a something years for a seven month break from the education sector before I return to it in September, I have been thinking about the choices we make in life and the reasons behind them.

Some people are lucky enough to know exactly want they want to do with their lives early on. Whether that is a purely money based career path, a satisfaction and excitement based lifestyle, or even just a loafing around enjoying themselves as much as they can route, these people have goals, and dreams, they can look to the future and state 'that is where I want to be in ten years.' I envy these people to some extent. They are definitely on the jumping side of this debate. They make conscious decisions with their end plan as a basis.

I'm much more of the falling kind. I had no idea want I wanted to do with my life, and am still not 100% convinced. I fell in to teaching due to a lack of anything else to do. Now don't get me wrong, I love a lot about teaching and my time at my previous School contained some of the best times of my life. I am also really looking forward to the challenge that September will bring. But I have these niggling doubts every now and then, a little voice in my head that asks 'Do you really want to be doing this for the rest of your working life?'

Now. I quite understand that I'm being a little over dramatic here. Because who hasn't at one point in their lives asked that same question? My concern is that if the answer becomes NO! then I may well be completely screwed.

Anyway. Enough of that. I was thinking the same question can apply to the relationships we have, although the lines are not so distinct. There are couples who, together, jump wholeheartedly into relationships with clear joint goals in mind. They build their lives around each other and these targets. I know a few couples like this and they are fantastic. That is not to say however that relationships like these always work. Sadly they often don't. People and situations are forever evolving and what may have originally been one goal will often split into two that can pull couples apart.

Then are times when people will fall into relationships, for such reasons as loneliness, boredom, dissatisfaction or just the need to be loved. It might be the quick fix for something that's not working, or may be a way to escape a difficult situation. These can often be intense, heated and passionate. A flash grenade to the 'jumpers' maglite, they will often explode. But having said that, conversely, they can develop into something exceptional and long lasting (controlled forest fire? maybe not!).

Finally (in my simplistic rule book anyway), there is the mix of the two. On one side someone ready to jump into a solid relationship and on the other a 'faller', someone who not really looking for anything but finding themselves drawn in by the feeling or hope that this may help them escape wherever they currently find themselves. Now I'm sure that relationships like this must work out at times. But I would say that for the most part they are doomed to fail. Not to say that they cannot be passionate, exciting and comforting for both sides, but there is surely an immediate conflict of interests, two forces pulling in different directions. And when they tear themselves apart they is the possibility of great damage for both sides.

I have experienced all of these types of relationship, and I have to say that I only regret being the faller to a jumper. If that makes any sense then good work you!

This post has pretty much run away with itself. Apologies if you have read it all, because I suspect you are now thinking you've just wasted precious minutes reading a bunch of tosh.

Nevermind eh?

There's always tomorrow.

Maybe tomorrow...